Final Fantasy: Dissonance of the Ethereal
by Joseph JenkemHuffer
Summary: After their battle against the four fiends of Chaos, and eventually Chaos, the warriors return once more to face a new threat to their world.


Final Fantasy: Dissonance of the Ethereal

The skies began to darken, the seas started to churn. The soil became fetid, the land started to burn. Panic quickly spread throughout the continents. Just as all hope seemed lost the warriors of light walked into the kingdom of Cornelia, appearing out of nowhere once again. No one, not even they it was suspected, knew where they came from, and even if they did they certainly wouldn't be able to tell anyone, after all, they were all inexplicably mute. Nevertheless, the sight of these poorly animated would be heroes was enough to bring hope to the well armed yet strangely inactive people.

"Warriors of light! Thank goodness you've returned! The king wishes to see you immediately."

And with that the generic guard led the warriors to the castle where the king explained the current problem which apparently only they once again, could solve. "Warriors of light, apparently there was a part of the prophecy we forgot to mention when you first came here. You see, it says that after the four fiends of Chaos have been felled, the Crystals restored, and Chaos itself defeated, four new, infinitely more vile fiends will take root at the elemental shrines. Controlled by a force beyond comprehension these new monstrosities will ravage the land once more. It goes on to say... it is not certain that even the warriors of light can defeat this menace, yet they are the only ones who may even attempt to do so..."

"Go forth warriors, and know that you are our last and only hope!"

With this the warriors went off to the Cavern of Earth to restore the Earth Crystal. After a long journey filled with various random monster encounters, the warriors reached a chamber deep within the cavern that had a giant crystal in the center. An orb that blocked the warriors' path transformed into an extremely pale, seemingly human creature. "So you're these Warriors of light they told me about... My name is Reynard Sullen, I feed off of the essence of the earth basically turning it into shit. I live here because I sparkle in light making it very di- hey! What the hell are you doing! Stop hitting me!" During this monster's unbearably long and self absorbed monologue the warriors started attacking him. "Oh yeah, well try attacking me once you've been blinded by the unfathomable darkness of my soul!" Reynard then turned the room pitch black, unfortunately for him he failed to recall that he also glowed in the dark. This made it easy for the warriors to continue attacking him. Since he was already being attacked during his monologue and one liner, it only took one more slash to put him out of his misery. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH! You... you killed me... damnit... I was... still a... virgin... Tell those girls... I .. I .... I preferred... the company... OF MEN!!!!" With these final words Reynard faded into nothingness and the Earth Crystal was restored.

Several days later the warriors arrived at the volcano Mt. Glug, which was apparently named by someone who had consumed one ether too many. After somehow walking through several floors of lava without dying the warriors made it to the next crystal. The creature they faced there was perhaps the most grotesque thing they had ever encountered in their journey. It had the upper body of a woman, albeit a flat chested one making it appear to be a man, and the lower body of a snake. But what made this creature so grotesque was it's genitalia, which not only were in plain sight, but were an unearthly and anatomically impossible combination of both male and female genitalia. "I am ReRapexnaggar, one who possesses knowledge of nagas. I'll kill you Warriors of light like I kill off characters in my poorly drawn and written stories!" ReRapexnaggar gave birth to a creature similar in appearance to itself as one of the warriors attacked with a blizzard spell. The child monstrosity was instantly killed, causing it's parent to bawl uncontrollably. While the tears evaporated, slowly filling the room with steam, the warriors continued hacking away at the monster, and casting spells that tore through it's flesh. However it was not enough, at this point the room was beginning to fill up with steam. The warriors knew that if they did not end this battle immediately they would surely be boiled alive. The warriors used a light spell to make their target easier to see, then they shot lightning bolts at the creature in volley after desperate volley. Eventually one bolt pierced the fiend's heart and the room became clear once more. "I'm quitting life.. FOREVER!!!" After the creature dissipated the Fire Crystal was restored.

The warriors were so delirious from the heat that they jumped into a barrel and sunk with it. Somehow they ended up at an Underwater Shrine. They got to the crystal chamber and were faced with yet another one of the four fiends. This one was almost as grotesque as the last, but infinitely more difficult to fight, or even be around. It was a massive creature with several tentacles protruding from it's lower body. "I am Dhay, master of all bodily waste. You shall all be consumed by my girth and odor." The smell of this creature was so terrible that all of the warriors became poisoned. They could not cure it with antidotes or poisona because the smell was continuously emanating from the fiend, meaning they would die if they did not finish this battle soon. The monster's girth made it difficult to attack with weapons so the warriors had to augment their attack power before proceeding. After being stabbed and slashed for what seemed like an eternity to the intoxicated heroes, the creature finally started dying. "You will die and become one with my waste!" Dhay unleashed an enormous wave of a brown rotting fluid which was accompanied by a smell that was by some demonic machination, even worse than the one that preceded it. 3 out of 4 of the warriors died after being hit with the wave of waste. The last put all of his might into one desperate slash, which barely managed to slay the monstrosity. "You will all become waste at his hands.... even if you were made in his image...." With these final words Dhay disintegrated and the Water Crystal was restored.

After being revived and cured of their poison the warriors proceeded to their next destination. With the help of a weighted companion cube given to them by a robot in a cave, the warriors were able to think with portals and get to the next fiend in the castle which was by some nonsensical video game technology, made to float in the sky. This fiend was a man dressed up in a poorly made dragon costume that had multiple heads. "I'm Rumbles the Sky dragon.... I hate my life." Before the warriors could do anything this fiend attempted to slit it's wrist with a dull piece of rock. Since he was trying to do their job for them, albeit in a hilariously inept way, the warriors just stood back and watched the miserable spectacle. After realizing his failure he then flung himself out of the observation window, screaming "I CAN'T STOP MYSELF!" on his way down. What was even more pathetic than the initial failure was the second one. He was still alive. However his shame was so great that it broke his power and the Wind Crystal was restored. Since he was on the ground the warriors could not hear what he was saying as they left for their final destination.

Although the Chaos shrine was a massive temple in the past, it was now a ruin, however this time the source of the fiends was in the future. The warriors activated the portal with the light of the four crystals and went to the future version of the shrine, which was a one bedroom apartment. To their surprise the warriors found the four fiends awaiting them. The fiends claimed they had been made more powerful by their master. However even when they fought the warriors as a team their failure was dramatically greater than it had been before, they were defeated instantly. A voice came from a speaker "You actually thought I'd reward your failure by making you stronger? I made you even weaker than you originally were so that you could provide me with more amusement, now GTFO!" With these words the fiends all exploded into bloody chunks of flesh. A faceless man in a suit walked in from the back door, which should not have existed in a one bedroom apartment. "Welcome Warriors of Light. I was waiting for you to get here. You could choose to fight me, but you'd probably end up like those four. Or you could join me, we are one and the same after all. What is your choice warriors?" The warriors answered by drawing their weapons and preparing for battle. "So you choose to resist me... so be it, then die at the hands of your /b/rother." All forms of attack seemed ineffective against this faceless menace, which attacked the warriors with shocking, violent, and pornographic images while humiliating and degrading them. "You cannot win, you threw away your power when you took your classes rather than staying in your true form." Just as all hope seemed lost the four crystals shone with a blinding light that exposed everything, and gave the warriors a new spell called "Dox". Through the power of Dox the warriors completely anihillated the faceless fiend. As he was fading away the once faceless man spoke his final words "Congratulations warriors, you have destroyed my annonimity and killed me. However you and I are one and the same, your fate shall not be different from my own. Heed my words Warriors of Light, for you will one day fall as I have and yourself become the villains." After this the man completely disapeared and peace was restored to the land once more. The Warriors of Light paused to consider the last words of their final enemy, but all this was far from fated, for the time being, and perhaps for the rest of all time, the warriors had reached the end of their journey.


End file.
